No Nasty Surprises
by Daemon faerie queen
Summary: Captain Jack Sparrow and shipmate Jade Starfall accidentally unlock the mysteries of an ancient book. Trapped inside the pages, can they remember who they are long enough to escape or are they doomed to live forever in a land of fairy-tales?
1. Little Jade Riding Hood

**A/N: **Written as a Christmas present for RaggyDollPirate a.k.a. Jade Starfall, a fantabulous writer and longtime reviewer. Some of the characters can only be found in the RPG Sparrow's Folly, but it shouldn't matter too much. There are a few references to the plot of the game too but otherwise this story is standalone and will hopefully be of enjoyment to all. Slightly leans towards a Jack/OC but don't fret, ladies and gents, the Cap'n remains a confounded bachelor as he always should be. As usual, I do not own any characters from Pirates of the Caribbean or Anne Bishop's Black Jewels Trilogy.

* * *

**No Nasty Surprises**

(A tale of Sparrow's Folly)

For Jade

Chapter 1: Little Jade Riding Hood

"It's a book."

"A valuable tome sealed within an antique chest with no less than five locks to open it."

"Jack, y' tellin' me y' sank that trade sloop f'r a _book_?"

The pirate captain sighed and looked up from the open chest upon his cabin desk. "What I am telling you is that nothing guarded to such an extent that every man on board would rather be forced to abandon ship is without a considerable price on the market."

Brushing a strand of chocolate brown hair over her ear, Jade sat upon the edge of the desk and picked absently at the jewels encrusting the box lid. She watched Jack pull free the old book's clasps and lift the weighty cover. "So whassit got in it then?"

He frowned, leafing slowly through the pages, caressing them as though they might disintegrate under too much touch. "Pictures…" he said.

Jade raised an eyebrow. "Oh, 's _that _kind of book. No wonder they were loath t' leave it."

Too engrossed in what he was looking at, Sparrow merely shook his head. Jade leaned over, trying to see the tome over the great chest. The lettering and ink tones made her think of brown-robed clerics meticulously slaving in dusty rooms. After a few minutes of silence in which Jack continued to pore over the enigmatic artefact, impatience got the better of the young woman. She dropped down from her perch and sauntered about to peer over the pirate's shoulders.

"Anythin' of int'rest, Cap'n?"

"Dunno really," Jack muttered. "It's like a book o' fairy tales or some'ing, only there's no words an' the images themselves don't seem to follow any coherent order."

Jade examined the page that was currently open. It depicted a winding forest path, sketched in a rough and sinister manner. There was something off-centre about the illustration, as though the focal point had never been drawn, or had…but was no longer there. She could not help but feel that were she to look out of the corner of her eye she might almost glimpse that missing piece. It was unfeasible not to try.

"What was that?" Jack blurted.

Jade snapped to attention. A possibility of a shadow in the picture vanished into the scruffy trees.

"What was what?"

"Thought I saw something move," said the Captain, apparently with no concern of his perceived sanity. "Somewhere around there." He tapped on the page at the far reaches of the drawn path.

Jade peered closer and tried to push Jack's finger aside to see for herself. No sooner had she touched the page, the two of them hissed in pain. Sharp, like a paper-cut. Ahead of them, the cabin doors slammed shut. Jack jumped up, kicking his chair backwards. At the same moment, the old book began suddenly to tremble before it rocketed across the room and pinned itself against the doors, the same pages splayed open.

Jack gripped Jade's arms just below her shoulders and edged her back with him, their gaze transfixed upon the animated tome. Together they watched in a fearful trance as the ink from the drawing began to seep from the book and – somehow – injected into the cabin. The watery pallor of the illustration soaked the room around them and began to twist the walls, the floor, the desk. The cabin was etch-a-sketching itself into trees, open dreary skies and a dirt path.

Jade was standing alone on the forest track, the unwelcoming pines looming on either side. It did not take her long to notice the hamper basket that had appeared in her arms, and she was wearing a long, red cloak…

"Er…Jack?"

Not even birdsong responded.

Scowling at the foreign landscape that had hijacked her surroundings, Jade hissed out, "Well sod this f'r a lark. You'd think we were past this sort o' thing after all that Locker tripe, but _pffft_!"

She peeked inside the hamper. There was a box of eggs, a block of butter and a large sponge cake with a sugar glaze. Jade's eyes widened. She glanced about should anyone lay a claim to the mouth-watering contents. Then she grinned. Perfectly baked sponge crumbled off into her fingers and she scooped a generous chunk into her mouth. It tasted real enough. Her stomach growled, reminding her of how long it had been since she had had a good meal. Not one to argue with her own senses, Jade shovelled yet more of the cake past her lips.

Her eyes were closed during her indulgence and so she was rather startled when a familiar voice called out:

"Can't leave you alone for a moment."

"Mmf." Jade looked up, mouth replete. Jack was leaning against a charcoal-coloured tree, arms folded. He had the air of a highwayman about him in this setting. The young woman swallowed guiltily.

"You were the one brought us 'ere, pokin' that stupid book, so don' try blamin' me. Where d'you s'pose we are, in any fashion? An' before y' ask, the irony of th' red cloak hasn't escaped me."

Jack grinned slyly and sauntered over. "It would be as good a guess as any to surmise we are _inside _the book. A further thought would suggest that it will not be quite so simple getting out again. Let's not fret though, eh?" He tapped the hilt of his cutlass. "We're still armed. If there're any wolves out here, shouldn' be too 'ard to scare 'em off." Smirking at her attire, he added, "Almost suits you, actually. Now, what goodies 'ave you been stuffing your face with?"

Jade swung the basket away before Jack could lift the lid.

"Gerroff! I found it. S'mine," she grumbled childishly. "Y'can 'ave it when I'm done with it." She started to trudge up the path, ignoring the pirate's amused expression as he walked alongside. "So did yeh find anythin' wherever you were?"

"As one might expect, there's your run-of-the-mill cottage in the woods just a few yards yonder. I wasn't on the path but 'tis my reckoning it likely goes past said abode. Were you to bestow upon a famished reprobate something from your basket, he might be persuaded to scout it out for yer. Make sure there's no nasty surprises awaitin', savvy?"

Jade only just resisted the temptation to smash the hamper into his self-satisfied face. Eyes narrowed, she lifted one of the basket sides and watched him score a furrow in the cake's trimming.

With every lewd implication, Jack bit down on the far reaches of his forefinger and drew it out to the tip, divesting it of icing. He stalked off into the woods again, leaving Jade to contend with the flush in her cheeks that was nearing as bright as her cloak. The pirate captain was long gone by the time she had bombarded the trees in his direction with eggs.

*****************************************************

A little while later the young woman in the red, hooded cloak arrived at the cottage. It was a simple affair: thatched roof; rounded windows; a chimney with curling smoke; and the symmetry of a child's drawing. She checked to see if Jack was loitering anywhere outside before approaching the door. It was unlocked.

"Jack? Y'in there?"

"Oh, hello m'dear." The voice was cracked, an old woman's. "Do come in. Your friend is just out fetching water for the kettle."

Jade stepped inside warily, one hand hovering to the dagger in her belt. It was a fairly pleasant home. Warmed by hearth; scented with lavender and the perfume of an elderly lady; stone walls decorated with small cross-stitch tapestries. There was a large four-poster bed occupying most of the room. Skirted with frills, it was covered in voluminous veils of white lace, almost as though it were ready to elope. She could see the shadow of someone behind the netting.

"Uh sorry f'r intrudin'. I've got some cake an' bits here. I'll jes' leave it by the door an' be on my way," Jade murmured awkwardly.

"You are very kind," the figure in the bed replied, "but it would tax my frame so to wander all the way over there, and it would not be proper to let one being so good to me go before I can thank her to her face."

"You want me to bring it to yeh?" the young woman said flatly.

"I would so appreciate it."

_I'm sure you would_.

"All the better to see me with, y' mean?"

There was no response. Jade gripped the hilt of her treasured white-rock knife and walked closer to the bed. Why she had not dumped the hamper and run already she did not know. Her feet weren't listening.

"'S awf'lly quiet in here," she mumbled.

"All the better to hear you with, m'dear."

Jade dropped the hamper with a loud thud and threw open the netting, blade raised to defend.

"Jack?!"

The pirate was lounging above the covers, arms folded, ankles crossed. He looked sideways at her with a shrewd smile. Jade's arm dropped to her side.

"What th' heck're yeh doing?" she snapped. "Scared me half t' death."

"All the better," he said, no longer in the cronely intonation.

"'N' what's that s'posed to -."

Jade gave a cry of surprise as Jack grabbed her shirt collar and pulled her past the veils. He pinned her at the wrists, pressing until she was forced to release the dagger. She hissed in pain.

"Jack, get off! This i'n't funny!"

Her heart omitted a beat when she locked eyes. His were wild, insane even, and almost yellowish. The terror of being very much alone struck her. She bunched up and slammed a purple boot into his chest before scrambling off the bed. She tripped over the hamper and sprawled onto a dressing table. Jade looked up groggily at her reflection. Beyond her, upon the mirror-world bed, was a ravenous black wolf.

Fighting back a cry, she bolted for the door. Jack was too fast. Having leapt from the end of the bed as she skimmed the side, he blocked her escape.

"Jack, snap out'f it," she said in desperation, the red hood falling back. "Y' don't want to hurt me. You're not like that."

"Ah, but can you be so certain? How long 'ave we known each other? A month, maybe two, three even? In that time we've already managed to cross one another on several occasions." He edged towards her and she backed off at equal pace.

"You know we didn't have a choice. Not an agreeable one anyways." She forced her voice to be firm. "You're not the wolf, Jack. Remember how the story goes? If yeh play this out, the woodsman comes 'n' cuts yeh open. The wolf doesn't win."

Sparrow leisurely drew his cutlass. The light of the hearth danced upon the blade.

"That all depends, love."

Engulfed in the numbness of fear, Jade continued to retreat, praying that she would be able to snatch her dagger from where it lay.

"On what 'xactly?"

"On the telling of the tale. You see, the story in its earliest written form retains the valuable lesson that was altered for bonny old England. A young woman has to learn that walking alone in the woods and liasing with wolves does not merit salvation. In the original French, it is the wolf that proves victorious."

Jade paled and dove for the bed. As she scrabbled for her weapon, Jack swung his sword into an end-post. The wooden canopy gave a groan. For a moment the young woman flinched, expecting the top to descend upon her skull. Her frantic hands reached for the dagger nestled between the pillows but instinct overcame her. She rolled off the bed a split-second before Jack severed another post and brought the canopy crashing down.

There was a door ahead of her that she had not noticed before. Flinging herself to her feet, Jade launched upon it and yanked the handle. She was greeted with the sight of free open air; the pink fluttering of cherry blossoms; the figure of the _real _Jack Sparrow drawing closer to save her…

At least that was what a disillusioned fraction of her brain willed her eyes to see. It was actually a pantry laden with cobwebs. Slumped brokenly upon the floor was a skeleton in a floral bonnet.

Unable to stop herself, Jade screamed.

The cold metal of the Captain's blade slid across her throat. Trembling, she walked backwards into him.

"I'd rather you didn't struggle," Jack whispered gruffly against her hair. "Can't be sullying the flavour with bruised meat, now can we?" He bit down on her ear.

Jade shrieked in pain. In her panic, she managed to push his arm away enough to duck under and flee through the archway into the cottage's kitchen. Her stomach churned. This was the last place she wanted to be. Feverishly she looked about for a weapon. What kind of kitchen didn't have a set of knives? There was a shelf of spices and cookery books. Her fingers grasped a pot of pepper as Jack entered.

"Your consideration flatters me, darling, but there's really no need for seasoning."

Jade glowered, teeth bared.

"Jes' come an' get me then, afore I ruin yeh meal. Y' can choke on it, too."

Silver and gold caps shining in his grin, Jack advanced. Jade wrenched the top from the container and flung the contents at his face. The pirate turned his head as he moved, the grains trickling off his hat and hair braids. He pushed her into the stack of shelves, books and jars clattering around them.

Jade cursed inwardly. Why hadn't she run? Frozen in the certainty of death, her gaze dipped feebly to the floor as Jack drew in for the kill, to sink his teeth into her bare neck.

One of the books that had vacated the shelves lay open nearby. Had her green, softening eyes not been glazed with tears, Jade might have seen the ink from the pages running, spilling out into the room…

A gasp escaped her lips. Jade, the cottage, and the amber tint in the Captain's irises vanished into the watery painting of the unreal.


	2. Jack Sparrow And The Beanstalk

Chapter 2: Jack (Sparrow) and the Beanstalk

The piercing light of day brought Jack to his senses. He sneezed as a stray granule of pepper found its way up his nose. The pirate captain found himself standing in an overgrown garden populated with chickens. With an eerie calmness, he turned slowly in a circle and collected his thoughts.

_We're still in the book. A book of fairy stories. Jade…what did I…oh, not good…_

Where was she? Jack peered over the garden fence to see rolling farm fields and beaten country paths. Adjoining the garden was a cottage very similar to the one in which he had…seen her.

"Jack!"

The voice was female, but it wasn't Jade. It was stern; familiar; and automatically inferred he had done something wrong. Well, that _certainly_ narrowed it down on Jack's list of female acquaintances. He crept over to the cottage and peered his head around the doorframe.

Standing at the sink of a pokey kitchen, hands plunged in dishwater, was the slender form of the assassin Surreal SaDiablo. The difference in her was that she wore an apron and a frilly cap.

"There you are -." She paused in scrubbing a plate to frown at him. "What on earth are you wearing?"

"Surreal?"

"You're not wrong. Well? Get your backside in here and show me how much you got for selling that old cow."

Jack slinked inside cautiously. "Cow? What cow?"

"Sugar, you heard me. Now turn out your pockets and show me the money."

Not knowing what else to do, Sparrow put his hands into his outer pockets and pulled out the only items he could find –

"Beans?" he murmured.

"Hmm?"

Jack gazed awkwardly at the handful of small, green blobs in his palm.

"I appear to have beans."

The assassin housewife dried her hands on a towel and gave him an icy stare. "Beans?"

"Aye."

"_Beans?_" Her eyes blazed. Jack looked nervously from her to the kitchen utensils in close proximity. _This _kind of kitchen had knives. Too many knives.

"They're probably magic beans…?" he said, weakly.

In the same moment that the surreal…Surreal produced a dagger that looked the spitting image of Jade's, Jack was out of the door and over the fence, not daring to look back.

At least a mile down the country lane, Jack decided that the crazed assassin had not bothered to follow him. Seeing very little alternative to the situation, he kicked aside a clod of earth in the nearest field and buried the beans.

For a minute nothing happened. For a few more minutes, nothing happened and Jack's moustache twitched in annoyance. His boot tapped. Then the ground trembled. The pirate's instinct kicked in. He stepped a few paces backwards. The soil began to crack. Jack bolted for cover as a vast green vine as thick as an oak burst skyward from the field.

"Bloody marvellous," Jack sneered when he deemed it safe to return. "Jack and the bleedin' beanstalk, am I? This better lead back to the ship or I'm burning me way out."

And he began to climb.

Much to his dismay, not only was the ascent long and tiring but rather than emerging out of the book as he had hoped, he was of course upon a solid cloud at the base of a colossal castle. Yet, for all its immensity, Jack somehow suspected that there were only going to be one or two rooms of any importance inside and the main one was going to be a kitchen.

He was right.

In this enormous room, Jack was scaled down sufficiently to be seen as barely two inches tall. In order to get a decent view of the place he had to clamber up the cloth covering the kitchen table, which fortunately was long enough for him to reach at the hem. He took a moment to savour the sense of adventure, exacerbated by the sight of the contents of a huge bowl of fruit. Eagerly, he dashed along the table and tugged at a grape the size of a football. He had to slice the stem with his sword, and soon learned that eating ripe grapes with this small stature was asking for a drowning. He resorted to slicing off slivers of apple – an overall much safer fruit.

Jack's feast was disturbed by a terrible booming voice, to which his reaction was to dive headlong into the fruit bowl.

"**Fee, fie, foe, fum! Ai smell the blood of an Englishmun!"**

_You have got to be joking._

In giant-size glory, the imposing hulk of Davy Jones stomped into the room, the tentacles of his beard coiling in his constant ire, peg leg thundering on the stone floor.

**"Be he alive orr be he daid, ai'll grrind hes bow-uns tae make mai brread…"**

As quietly as he could, Jack smacked himself in the forehead. He soon froze beneath the shadow that engulfed the table. Jones' slimy suckered hand was swooping in like a manta ray, when –

"Jones!" an equally loud voice bellowed. Aside from his confusion, Jack felt a wave of relief wash over him. "What yeh blath'rin about out there? Get back 'ere an' sweep these stairs!"

Grumbling, the monstrously towering version of Jones left the room once more. Jack gave it a few minutes before shifting aside a banana the size of a log. He had one foot out of the bowl when he heard the stamping of another great pair of feet approach. He tumbled backwards beneath the fruit.

"Bugger."

The giant stepped into the kitchen and eyed the surfaces dubiously.

"I know yer there. Come out whoever y'are an' stop sneakin' about."

Jack staggered upright and peered out at the inquisitive and immense form of –

"Jade!"

The girl in question snapped her gaze to the kitchen table for the source of the quiet voice. There, balancing upon an orange, having located his hat after his fall, was the diminutive figure of the pirate captain, waving his arms enthusiastically.

The giantess frowned.

"'m I s'posed to know yeh or summing?"

Descending to the tabletop, Jack called, "'S me, Jack. You don't remember? You. Me. Fell into a book together? Still in it, truth be told."

Jade only looked puzzled.

"I think I'd recall someone as tiny as you if I'd seen yeh before."

"You weren't always so…huge," the pirate replied. "Matter o' fact, your custom height is well-nigh adorable." He smirked, but the expression swiftly dropped into an 'o' of apprehension under the great woman's withering stare. He attempted again. "Can you honestly say that this is all you wanted from life? A dingy old cove, living with old squid-features?"

The giantess mulled his words over, studying the doll-like intruder with a nagging sense of the forgotten. Her copious green eyes caught sight of the sword sheathed at his side. She trembled suddenly. The indentations on her right ear stung.

"Jack…"

"Aye?"

Shaking in humiliated rage, Jade's hand shot out and snatched the pirate from the table, bringing him within an almost deafening proximity of her face.

"You _bastard_." Her lips thinned to frame her exposed teeth. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't squash yeh."

Peering timidly over the restraint of her index finger, Jack was unable to prevent himself uttering a meek: "Because I'm devastatingly handsome?"

The near death experience he subsequently suffered made him cough all air from his lungs.

"Y' tried to _eat_ me!"

"-" Jack wheezed.

Jade slackened her grip with reluctance.

"That…was not…me, Jade." He pushed against the crushing wall of her palm. "My profound apologies…I'm sorry. It was no intention on my part to harm you."

The young woman sighed impatiently, the sound like a wave breaking upon rocks. She slowly uncurled her fingers and tilted her hand so the pirate lay flat. Jack sat up, wincing at his aching muscles.

"I'm assuming you've had little chance to work out how to get out of here?" he said.

"None whatsoever," was the sour response, "but speakin' from experience 's fair t' suggest we finish the story or move to another, mebbe? A book brought me here. P'r'aps there're more like it. In fact, there's a library in 'ere but Jones won't let me go in. Watchin' the door all the time."

Her calculating glance stole across the precariously situated Jack.

"You'll be wantin' a diversion I take it?" he hazarded.

"Aye."

*******************************************************************

So it was Jack found himself fleeing the castle in the clouds with a golden egg in one hand and a goose the size of an Alsatian tucked under his other arm. The latter loot was honking and flapping dangerously in reply to the furious roar echoing from its previous owner. When he had negotiated his way back down the beanstalk, _Surreal_ was waiting for him.

"How _dare_ you run off and climb a bloody great plant while your poor mother worries herself to death?"

Jack ducked a swipe from the glittering white knife. The goose ducked too and then resumed trying to peck his fingers off.

"Ow! My mother? What are you babbling about, woman?"

Tears shone in her enraged eyes. "Why you insolent little -." She broke off at the sight of the gleaming egg in Jack's right palm. "What is that?"

Albeit with a hint of regret, the Captain improvised and offered it out to her.

"Oh, this? It's for you. Best mum in the world an' all that." He tapped its surface softly. "Solid gold. And this," he added, burdening her with the huge mass of poultry, "is what lays 'em. Now, I think that more than covers the expense of the cow. So I'll be takin' this…" Jack plucked Jade's dagger from _Surreal_'s hand, "…and I'm off."

Stunned, the copy of the assassin watched him clamber back up the beanstalk and disappear through the clouds.

Back at the castle, having made sure the coast was clear, Jack ascended to the tabletop once more. He waited for what must have been at least half an hour, concealing himself beneath the lid of the butter dish. At last came the muffled din of large footsteps intending to be quiet.

"Jack? Y' there?" came the hurricane whisper of the giantess. There came the grating of porcelain and the tiny pirate emerged.

"Aye. Didjer find a way out?"

Jade looked shifty for a moment. "Well, y'see, I only had a little bit 'f time an' there were so many books. I'd need t' get in f'r longer, much longer."

Jack sighed irritably and walked across the table towards her. "Honestly, missy, what happened to those wiles o' yours? I risked me neck pilferin' that overgrown bird, up an' down that bloody vine _and _brought back your knife, an' what've _you _got t' show? Peanuts. You – _whoah_!" He broke off, his buttered soles slipping, pitching him off the edge, the grim expanse of stone floor rising to shatter his frame.

Jade snatched him from the air. Despite his incensing words, she did not squeeze. The panic of the fall made the pirate wrap himself about her thumb, eyes clamped shut.

"Ta…" he said weakly. He did not open his eyes again until he was safely back upon the table.

"It might be our only chance t' get away," she said. "Y' need to let Jones act'ally see yeh an' chase yeh, or find summat t' get rid of 'im completely."

"If I let 'im see me, he'll just catch up with one leap and step on me. Simple as that."

Jade was pacing now, the thud of her boots trembling through Jack's bones.

"But you're Jack. Not you Jack, but Jack-an'-the-beanstalk Jack. It shouldn't let y' die. That's not the story. If I'm right, yeh just need to steal summat else."

The pirate snorted. "I'm not a fan of 'if's."

Jade rubbed at the small space of forehead below her blue bandanna.

"Please, Jack? Jus' try. I can't stay here." She looked down at him, enormous green eyes shimmering with blackmail. "'m scared that come nightfall I'll have t' go upstairs with ol' Octobeard. All those…tentacles…" She chewed her thumb nervously.

Jack clenched his jaw at her plea and rolled his eyes.

"All right, fine. What can I steal to get his attention then? Was there not a singin' harp or some'ing?"

Jade frowned. "I think I would've noticed summat like that hangin' about. 'N anyways I don't know why they ever called it a harp. Y' can't carry a harp even if y' normal size. Must've been a lyre."

Jack nodded, twiddling his beard. "Aye, though I'd be more inclined to say 'ignorant'."

"I didn't mean –." Jade growled as Jack smirked up at her. "I think I've got a solution. Stay put." She disappeared through the vast doorway and returned a minute or two later with a metal box. It was heart-shaped and engraved upon its surface was a picture of a crab – also heart-shaped – with an eerie face depicted on its shell. It came up to Jack's knees.

"Don' open it 'til I'm well clear or we'll both be f'r it."

Jack crept about it carefully, studying it.

"What is it? There's something familiar about that symbol."

"That's yeh singin' harp. Now get distractin'." With that, Jade left the room again.

Jack opened the box.

Inside, cogs began to turn. Pins struck strings. A haunting, tinny melody churned out into the castle. Now where had he heard that before? Either way, it did the trick. He was already on the kitchen floor, the weighty slab of a music box held balanced on his head, when the gargling bellow came from above. The following stamping was like hearing one-legged gods running a relay overhead.

With an anxious grimace playing upon his face, the pirate captain scurried out of the castle and off across the squashy cloud. His arms ached with the strain of holding the box and his ears rang from the volume of its song.

The huge figure of the giant cephalopodan Davy Jones stormed out from the castle gates. Taking enormous strides, he swiftly gained upon Jack. The only thing stopping him from crushing the tiny pirate was the reluctance to damage the music box. His suckered hand swiped out in an attempt to grab both thief and possession. Jack swerved to evade and bobbed down beneath the mists, masking himself enough to misguide any further grabs from Jones.

He reached the top of the beanstalk, its curling tip encircled by the azure blue of the undersky. His looming pursuer roared, charging straight for him.

**"Fee, fie, foe -!"**

"Oh, _fum _off!" Jack yelled, and threw the music box through the hole in the clouds. In the small interval of shock he received from Jones, he leapt onto the stalk and clambered downwards as fast as he could. It was not long before the monster grasped the sides of the great plant and began to make his own descent, driven by the need for revenge and the futile hope of regaining his treasure.

Almost at the bottom of the beanstalk, Jack looked up at the daunting shapes of Jones's boots drawing ever closer. Gritting his teeth into a self-encouraging snarl, the Captain drew his cutlass and slashed at the green flesh of the trunk. The beanstalk lurched. Jack dropped the last few feet to the ground and ran full pelt from the scene.

With a horrible groan the gargantuan plant keeled over, bringing the giant with it. The pirate winced as it smashed down upon miles of unluckily situated houses and flattened a great many crops. Nevertheless, he had led Jones into a fatal trap. The huge body of the octopus man lay unmoving on the country lane.

*****************************************************************

Sometime later, Jack strode along the extensive kitchen floor of the humongous castle, calling out for the more amiable giantess. He had the strange suspicion that each room he passed only existed whilst he walked through it, a sensation of emptiness creeping at his back through every doorway. At last he found the library. As was necessary for this room in fairytales, the bookcases were as tall as the ceiling and could be accessed with an assortment of ladders and staircases, preferably of the spiralling variety.

Hearing the Captain's voice, Jade hurried down from a higher tier of shelves with an armful of books.

"Jack? Y' got rid of 'im?"

"Yep. Would've got 'ere sooner but chopping the magic ladder down was a slight flaw in the plan."

Jade raised an eyebrow. "So how did yeh get back?"

"Well, the thing about beanstalks, love, is that they grow beans. Considering its mutated counterpart grew at a thousand times the rate of a normal plant, it was little surprise to find it had managed to bear fruit with which to grow another one. Now then, found our way out yet, have you?"

The giantess pulled a wry face.

"Turns out there ain't many books in here as c'n be taken off the shelves. Rest 're jes' fake, meant t' look like 's got a lot of readin' material. All I could find's a few folk books."

She seated herself upon the floor and laid out the books so that Jack could inspect them at his level. Bizarrely, the illustrations on each cover portrayed familiar faces in the fanciful situations. The first his eyes scanned was _Puss in Boots_, the image of a smug feline standing beside a smiling young man. It was clear that the youth had all the markings of Master Turner, and that 'Puss' could be no other than the tiger-inhabited Tam.

He walked past the enormous books, examining each of the titles and cover pictures. _Beauty and the Beast_ – once again with Tam in the drawing, but her cat-like features were barely visible and she was dancing in the arms of an eerily lizardish man. _Hansel and Gretel _– this one was of Jade and a boy he had once met before. A boy with jet-black hair and sallow face. The next book brought a secret smirk to his lips. _Ashputtel_. Remarkable how the prince was so scruffy and that the brunette maid's 'glass slipper' was more like a purple boot…

Jade did not seem to have noticed, or was hiding it impeccably. Her attention was upon another book she had open upon her lap.

"Anythin' useful?" Jack asked, only just able to see over her crossed ankles.

"I d'no. Not really. Only -."

"Spit it out."

She sighed. "There's nothin'. Just fairy stories, but one of 'em's got two tales in one book. An' I've never heard 'f this'n. _The Folly of the Sparrow_? Y' don' think that…?" Jade turned several pages into the unfamiliar story. Her eyes widened and she turned a little pale. She closed the book slowly.

"Jade?"

"This is the one we want," she said, numbly.

"Come on then," Jack called, pointing zealously at the ground. "Put it down so we can both reach it."

Jade blinked. "Yes, er…Cap'n." She placed the book gently upon the cold flagstones and lowered her fingers down towards the pages, watching as Jack mimicked her movements in scaled down proportions.

The words and images glimmered wetly and slithered from the book as inky serpents, splitting apart like dark webbing, coating the library wall to wall. The world about them changed once more.


	3. The Frog Pirate

Chapter 3: The Frog Pirate

Once upon a time, a princess played in a beautiful garden with her shining blue ball. It was her favourite toy and upon its glittering surface was etched a repeating image of a leopard. She did not care that the hem of her dress and her violet shoes got muddy, nor that her chocolate-brown hair tangled with leaves. All she wished to do was to run around, throwing and catching, twirling and bouncing her treasured ball.

It came to pass that, in her enthusiasm, the ball slipped from her fingers and bounced into the well at the bottom of the garden.

"Ah, bugg'r'it!" she said, in not a very princess-like manner at all. She proceeded to let out a loud stream of colourful words, pounding her dainty fists on the stone wall of the well.

Now, it just so happened that someone had heard her cries. A face peered out from behind the bushes lining the garden and called out to her.

"Perhaps I might be of some assistance?"

The princess let out a gasp of surprise and turned to see a huge, slimy frog with bulging yellow eyes. Except, what was actually staring at her was a very much human face with a braided twin beard, long hair and a red bandanna. Neither of them seemed to be aware of this.

"Go away, y' slimy brute. What makes y' think y' can help me?"

The 'frog' stepped out from the hedges. There was a faint tinge of green to the pirate-garbed man's skin and his hands were somewhat flatter with large webs between the fingers. He grinned at her, which came across as a twinkle in the amphibian's eye.

"I would be willing to jump in that well and fetch back your bonny little ball, if you could promise me a small favour in return."

She raised her eyebrow. "I'm listenin'."

"Promise me that for three nights I can stay at your house, eat at your table and sleep in your bed. After that, you'll never see me ugly face again. You have me word."

The princess looked aghast. "Ugh! I can't let a horrid thing like you in the castle!"

Turning away, the 'frog' replied, "Good luck with your ball then."

"Wait!" The princess stamped her foot. "All right. Y' can stay. Yer only a frog, so what harm c'n it do? Now gimme my ball!"

The pirate bowed; the 'frog' pulsed out its throat. He climbed over the side of the well, gripped the bucket rope and descended into the darkness. A few moments later he was back up from the depths with the glistening blue ball. She snatched it from him eagerly and ran as fast as she could all the way back to the castle.

*******************************************************************

That evening as she sat at the great dining table with her father, a monarch with an oddly plumed cap and a monkey on his shoulder, there came a knocking at the door of the banquet hall.

"Enter on in then, ye lousy cur!" bellowed the king.

A youth with a tiny moustache opened the door and revealed the dripping form of the slimy pirate.

"Majesty," said the servant. "There is a frog wishing to speak to her ladyship."

The princess turned pale.

The king frowned. "What be the meanin' o' this?"

And so she explained to her father about the promise she had made to the 'frog' in the garden in return for her lost toy. The king found this most amusing.

"Hahar! Well then, ye'd best be bringin' the young lady's hero inward. Can't be takin' back our promises, now can we? Place him beside me daughter and fetch him a platter so that he may join in the feast!"

It was done. The guest helped himself to the steaming array, plucking morsels onto his plate with his gooey, webbed fingers. The princess herself swiftly lost her appetite and looked pleadingly across at her rosy-cheeked father. To no avail.

Night fell and the mortified princess took her candle to her bedroom, the frog in her palm; or as the imagined audience perceived, the pirate took her hand and followed her up the stairs. She took herself aside to change into her nightclothes in privacy. Once she reached her lavish bed, she slipped under the silken sheets and lay as close to the edge – as far from the 'frog' as physically possible. It was a long night, but at last when she was sure the slippery creature was asleep she was finally able to drift.

*****************************************************************

Jack's eyes fluttered open to the soft caress of morning light and overly comfortable bedding. Bewildered by the slow-lifting veil of sleep, the information of his surroundings dribbled into his conscious thought. He turned his head.

And promptly fell out of the bed.

The young woman he had been resting alongside sat bolt upright at the noise and only slightly calmed at the sight of him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, a frown creeping across her features.

The pirate captain wobbled to his feet.

"Er…nothin'. Abso…lutely, nothing." His eyes made a nervous darting movement. "You're not having any lingering thoughts on striking me in the face, then?"

The princess blinked a few times. "I shouldn't think Daddy would let me. Ain't hospitable to attack a guest, 'specially if he's a frog."

"A fr-." The memories stole upon him at last. Jack inspected his hands and shuddered at the webbing that joined his fingers. Forcing himself to look away from them, he turned his attention back to her and gestured emphatically. "Jade, wake up. We're still in the book."

She yawned and slid out of bed. "I dunno what yer on about. I said yeh could stay with me, but I didn' say nothin' about havin' t' talk with yer." After flinging on a dazzling gown behind a dressing screen, she sidled over to the bedroom mirror and placed a blue-stoned tiara upon her head. Jack saw her tying her blue scarf within her hair.

"Jade…I'm sorry, love, but y' ain't a princess. And I'm not -."

Had she even allowed him to get that far, he would have had to hesitate. What could he possibly say? _I'm not a frog, you've actually just spent the night next to a dirty pirate probably ten years your elder._

She rounded on him. "Don't yeh _dare _tell me 'm not a princess, you rotten toad! Yer lucky I don' break that bloody promise right now!" With that, she stormed out of the room and ran from his company.

Princess Jade did not return until well after nightfall, when it was time for the evening meal. The pirate 'frog' was already waiting in his place at the dinner table, having to force a straight face at the sight of the Barbossa-copy playing as king and the only servant that appeared to be manning the castle wore none other than the face of Will Turner. They ate in silence, except for the odd comment thrown from the king to his daughter, and a brief tussle between Jack and the monkey over a leg of mutton.

Darkness filled the sky for the second night and the pirate found his hand seized roughly by the still-fuming princess. She dragged him to her chambers and set about making ready for bed.

Now that he had her alone, Jack timidly tried to reason with her again.

"Look, love, there's something I've got to tell you, an' it's not something you're going to like, but jus' hear me out, savvy?"

From behind her wooden screen, she made a grunt of annoyance. "If yeh goin' t' tell me I ain't a princess again, I'll squash yeh un'er a cushion."

"Um…not exactly. Thing is, _princess_," he said between his teeth, "I'm not really a frog. Or a toad. I might look like one, but I'm not. I'm…Jack. Captain Jack, to be precise."

Jade reappeared from behind the screen, disrobed into her nightdress.

"Fine. Whatever y' say. Well I'm goin' t' bed, _Jack_, so shut yeh croakin' gob an' keep the slime to yer own pillow, aw'ight?"

Jack sighed. "You don't remember anything do you?"

"'member what?" came the muffled voice from the puffy duvet.

The Captain winced. He placed his hat upon an antique end table, slipped off his boots, gave his malformed hands a distasteful glance and climbed into the birthday-cake-pink bed. Hoping for a better morning, he took in a breath of enchanted air and blew out the candle.

*******************************************************************

Upon the next dawn, the princess woke. She lifted her face from the frumpy pillow, an unflattering array of crease-lines latticing her cheek. Making a sleepy groan, she turned onto her back and became aware of the weighty bulk of cosiness pinning her against the frighteningly smooth sheets.

Something shifted beside her and she froze. Her green eyes wavered before slowly sliding to the right and seeing the all-too-familiar pirate lying with his back to her. She bunched her hands into fists though did nothing further. He was nigh on fully clothed, which was of a little comfort to her.

But only a little.

It was a blessing that she had not yet retrieved her dagger from him for she was sorely tempted to exact some sort of punishment for letting her get into this situation. Scowling she sat up, holding the covers over her less than enough clothing and gave the Captain a sharp poke in between the shoulder blades.

"Jack," she hissed.

"Ngnh?"

Another jab in the back startled him into rolling over to face her, poised to shield himself against the entity that attacked him as he slept. They seemed just as surprised as one another.

Jade raised her eyebrows. "Jack…why are yeh green?"

The pirate sucked his teeth, looking up at her from where he lay huddled under the quilt. "Because, Jade, that is the general colour one perceives a frog to be."

Her emerald eyes glowered.

"You're not a frog."

Jack's voice oozed with sarcasm. "Oh really? I hadn't noticed." He threw aside his half of the covers so that they glomped on top of her, and got up to wander the room. "Come to your senses at last. I was beginning to think I'd be trapped here forever. Still, could be worse I suppose. Good food, good rest…and as for the company…" He paused as Jade extracted herself from the fabric and glared at him. "Tolerable."

With a rebellious growl, she wrapped the vast quilt about her and hopped in the direction of the dressing screen. Jack smirked and folded his arms, watching her crossing with amusement.

"Why do I get the feeling that if I told you it was pointless to hide what had already been seen, you would nonetheless continue making a fool of yerself?"

Jade did not respond. She hopped the last hop to the screen and toppled behind it in search of more concealing garments. As she scrabbled to put on the flowing gown that she so despised, the pirate loitered at the door.

"Your modesty is endearing, darling, but irrelevant. A woman's form need not be masked with such pomp." He grinned. "Who knows? Someone else might appreciate a glimpse of where the places kissed by Caribbean sun meet the pale."

Jack bolted down the stairs, the anguished shriek of the 'princess' echoing at his back.

******************************************************************

When the rage had subsided and the desperation of escape become close to unbearable, Jade finally sought the pirate captain out. As was usual with these fairy-tale surroundings, there were much fewer places to roam than the outer image of the castle would suggest. She soon found him lounging about in the gardens seated upon a carved stone bench, gazing into the opened face of his compass with a distant weariness.

Fingers clutched tightly to her skirts, having to hold them in bunches above the dew-strewn grass, she strode over to him. Jack looked up just the once before quietly returning his attention to the quivering needle.

"C'n I have my knife back?"

The needle hovered around in a circle, slowing to an unnatural sweep, like a determined clock-hand. Jack snapped the lid shut. His forest-complexioned face turned to her.

"The answer of course depends on what it is you intend to do with it once it is returned."

She had to take in a substantial breath before replying, "C'n we settle f'r what I _won't _do with it?"

Jack shifted along the seat, gesturing for her to sit beside him. This she did, although hesitantly.

"So what went wrong?" he wondered. "The book you had, you said it was the one what would take us back 'ome."

Jade nodded, picking irritably at loose threads on her dress. "Yeh, but 'twas mixed up with this'n. I thought we'd jump in t' the exact page we touched, but we musta jes' started from the beginning."

The pirate brightened. "Then there's no worries, is there? We just play this one out and we're back, aye?"

The young woman peered gloomily out at the garden through the straggles of her unbrushed hair. In contrast the damp grass sparkled cheerily, butterflies sashayed off past polished marble statues of arcing dolphins, and the sun sprinkled like gold dust out of treetops.

"I d'no how," she mumbled. "'M not well read up on many of these. An' I don' trust it. The book. What if it don' wan' us t' leave? We c'd die here, Jack. What if we _have_? Jus' souls trapped f'rever, haunting some rotten ol' volume o' morals."

His arm crept about her almost without thought.

"At least it's better than the Locker."

Jade shifted her eyes to see his look of feigned, childish innocence. She sniffed back the onset of despairing tears, at once feeling annoyed with herself and blaming the emotion upon the stereotype she was being forced to play.

"At least then it was only you goin' mad. An' if mem'ry serves, y' also tried to hurt me there." She watched him move his gaze awkwardly to the surrounding scenery, although his arm remained, his fingertips lingering just above her elbow. "I don' fancy my chances if y' start with the weirdness an' homicidal wolf stuff agin."

Jack withdrew slightly, only to lay his hand upon her nearest shoulder. "Herein I can at least provide you with a consolation point. There're no nasty surprises in this story." His kohl-smudged eyelids drooped slyly.

The 'princess' tried to ignore the pirate's demeanour.

"That's what y' said last time…" she muttered under her breath. "So whazzit we got t' do? Jus' one more day of eatin' an' sleepin' the high life an' it's over? An' what's with th' frog thing?"

Jack tapped his green-hued fingers upon her, choosing his words carefully. "Well, as alleged by the tale, the princess tolerates having the frog around her castle and then…"

Jade made a quizzical expression. "Then…?"

His hand paused in mid tap.

"He turns into a prince."

She blinked at him for a moment. Then the corners of her mouth turned upwards and a snigger escaped her.

"Now that I'll 'ave t' see t' believe."

*********************************************************************

The evening's banquet was a quiet one, which made both of the sea-faring protagonists uncomfortable. King Barbossa was absent from the meal, leaving only his pet monkey who sat in the middle of the table watching every morsel lifted from the platters. Without the unnerving stare blasting at them, they might have felt less like this was a compulsory occasion and enjoyed it. Some other universe overlayed translucently with a noisy food fight, riddled with laughter. Theirs was filled with the anti-silence of scraping cutlery and rabbit-like nibbling.

"Gah! Tha' was horrible!" Jade blurted upon entering her chambers. "C'd hardly eat with that thing gogglin' at me. 'M starved, but I ain't goin' back down there."

She ruffled off behind the screen to change out of the enormous frock. A chest of drawers relinquished a tasteful dressing gown to cover the scant nightdress. When she emerged, Jack was sat with his back against the headboard of the bubblegum-toned bed, legs outstretched and muddy boots planted on top of the covers. Jade had to bite her lip to keep a straight face at the picture he made, though a growl from her stomach distracted her.

No sooner had she clambered beneath the sheets, Jack extended his webbed hand to reveal a small cluster of grapes and a few scraps of roasted meat. She took it with a swiftness akin to snatching.

"Thank y'."

He smiled as she wolfed down the leftovers and, sliding himself downwards a little way, he tipped his hat over his eyes. When she had polished off the last of the food, Jade burrowed down into the warm confines of the bed, not caring for the possibility of indigestion.

"'S been an… interesting affair, ain't it?" she mumbled.

"Mmhm." The hat nodded.

"Guess I'll see y' in the morn' then. Back on y' ship?"

"Aye," Jack said quietly. _The Pearl…_

If she had spoken further, the pirate did not hear. He sank into slumber, and she followed soon after.

*****************************************************************

Jade awoke in shocking proximity to dangling beads and a scent tainted with the faded remnants of many a night spent in a rum-filled stupor. Her emerald eyes gawked up into the dark-circled brown irises belonging to the Captain as he crouched over her.

"Jack, what the f-?" In her haste to escape she conveniently cut off her curse, scrambling out of the bed. Clutching the dressing gown to her, she grabbed her dagger from where it rested on the end-table and kept it poised to defend. "I jes' _knew _yeh would turn on me."

Sparrow winced shamefacedly. "It wasn't what it looked like…"

"I'm givin' yeh a _very _limited time to explain y'self before I use this t' draw yeh top t' tail." Fearful anger radiated from the young woman.

"We're still in the book. The story did not end."

Jade made no reply, not wanting to be caught unawares by the wolf again.

"I know how to get us out. You just have to trust me," said Jack. "Perhaps I was somewhat inaccurate in my previous detailing of what had to be done to complete this little tale."

Her lip trembled. "H-how inaccurate are we talkin'?"

Jack stepped down to the floor, softly treading towards her. Was that a slight _squelch_ she could hear in his boots? "As with all folk stories, there can be several versions. Sometimes in this one the frog merely stays the three nights and when the girl wakes up, _twinkle of flashy lights _- there's your prince. There has even been the occasional telling where the frog does not set a specific amount of time and the princess must endure his company for longer – Jade…stop backing away."

The 'princess' halted her reversing feet.

"I promised three nights, nothin' else. It should be over," she whined.

Ever watchful of the white stone knife, Jack edged closer, palms raised in surrender. Unfortunately his tendency to be unable to keep his membrane-linked fingers still only increased her unease.

"Calm yourself, missy, I'm not going to hurt you. It is one of the most memorable recitations of 'The Frog Prince' that requires the princess to do one tiny little favour."

Jade paled. Yet, somewhere at the back of her mind, she felt as though she had always known the true answer. Even if at this present moment she mistakenly feared much worse.

"Well spit it out then," she said, hand tightening upon the dagger hilt.

"It's very simple. One kiss, and the spell is undone."

She blinked. Colour returned to her knuckles.

"A…kiss?"

Her defences gradually evaporated.

"Just…a kiss?"

Jack nodded. There was an air about him that begged to be described as smug, but it was masked with a look of neutrality.

She lowered the dagger.

"Christ, Jack. Y' had me scared out o' my wits."

The Captain grinned. "Come dear, am I really so repulsive?"

"Y' green an' slimy f'r a start…" she mumbled. Then, before he could say anything further, she stepped forwards and brushed her lips upon his cheek. She withdrew so hastily it was as though it had never happened.

The green tint to Jack's skin faded, leaving behind his usual sun-touched colour. The webbing of his fingers melted out of existence. However, nothing further happened.

"We're still here," said Jade, her quiet voice cutting through the anxious silence. "You're not a frog any more. It should have finished the story. You said it would, Jack!"

Captain Sparrow reached out and took hold of her arms, taking care not to be too firm whilst she still held her blade.

"I'm deeply sorry to have to dash your hopes of getting away with that pathetic excuse for an embrace, missy, but I don't exactly look like a prince. By my approximation, all you need do is finish the task and we'll be back before you know it."

Jade pinked. _I'll bet he's just loving this._

"I hope yeh realise this has completely put me off readin' anythin' ever agin." She broke away from him and trudged back over to the end-table where she placed her dagger out of harm's way. Then she turned back to Jack, not able to look him in the face. "Let's get this over with then."

He approached her with a discomfiting smile. "Afraid you'll acquire a taste?"

"More like lose the sense altogether," Jade scoffed. She leaned over to repeat the peck to his cheek but gave out a stifled cry as Jack snatched hold of her and pressed his lips to her own. Her eyes widened in shock, attempting to signal distress to his, but they remained shielded behind his kohl-painted lids.

Jade struggled, but only her arms listened and they were trapped too tightly to move. Some part of her gave in; a part she begged herself to believe was a remnant of the snotty princess, her frame wilting as of a puppet with cut strings. Jack drew her closer, what little strength she had to fight with merely turning them in a clumsy waltz about the room. With a last desperate attempt for her mind to defeat her body, she shoved him back. He slammed into the bedroom wall, pulling her with him. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes as they drifted into closure. All she wanted was to…

****************************************************************

They hit the cabin floor. A few metres away the book dropped from the doors and slammed shut. The sound of voices funnelled into hearing range, footsteps approached.

"- the hell is that dratted Sparrow? We've not adjusted course for days…"

Surreal burst into the room, sending the tome skimming across the boards. Her gaze fell upon the image of the two frock-coated, bandanna-clad pirates grappled together on the ground. Jade pulled back from her position atop Jack and shot the assassin the look of a cornered cat.

"I won't even bother to ask." Surreal rolled her eyes and stalked back out onto the deck.

Jade scrambled to her feet and brushed her sleeve across her lips, heart thumping guiltily in her chest.

"We're back," Jack spoke for her, in no great hurry as he eased himself upright. "Told you you could trust me."

Miss Starfall did not reply. She scurried across to the discarded book and grabbed it from where it lay. Avoiding looking at him altogether, she made for the doors. She almost bumped into him as he slid across to bar her exit.

"Lemme past Jack," she said, her eyes averted.

"What troubles you, darlin'? Dissatisfied that the frog did not transform? You know…we could always reconvene our indecorous dance. More times the charm, eh?"

Jade mumbled coldly, "Y' could never be a prince."

The Captain gave her a complacent smile. "Whyever would I want to? Now, a _king_, that's another matter entirely. Which, as it happens, can be attained with considerable ease after becoming a prince. All one need do is find the means to bump off the old man, and the wealth of the land is yours to plunder."

The emerald eyes glittered up at him heatedly. "You…you're jes'…_ineffable_." Jade ducked past him and pushed through the cabin doors. She bustled along the deck to the port side rail and watched the dark waves roll under the clouded sky.

She heaved the great book onto the ledge. Half of it slipped from her fingers, falling open to reveal a mirrored tableau of herself in an ornate gown, bejewelled and glad. The pictured Jade rested in the arms of the flamboyant nobleman, his regal cloak barely covering his wayward clothing, his gleaming coronet an outlandish contrast to the kohl circling his eyes. It sickened her to the stomach.

With a loud growl Jade smacked the book shut, immediately wincing at the imagined sound from the page she had seen in the giant's castle. Her memory peered down into the framed illustration of the ship's shadowy hold. The frozen scene of her standing there, arm outstretched, pistol smoking, Jack lying unmoving upon the boards. She bit her lip until she tasted the irony flavour of blood. Then she hurled the old book into the ocean.

_Temper, temper. You know all too well he's only teasing. Why are you getting so riled up?_

She muttered against the voice in her head, "I'm not. I don' care. Even if he did get us out, he's still an arrogant -."

_- pirate? Since when did you start seeking out immaculate princes in their over-sized thrones? They're not your sort._

Jade scoffed, "An' _he _is?"

_Why not?_

"Well…" Go on…

"Self respect f'r starters. I ain't stupid. Half the world knows of 'im. He has his pick of thickheaded tarts without needin' me as a trinket."

_But you're different. You're like him._

"Gerroutofit. An' even if I was, I'm not the only outlaw of my gender in these waters."

_Excuses._

"In any fashion, if I cared, I've got a bloody good reason why I wouldn' even cross his mind f'r anythin' serious."

Oh?

"I shot 'im."

_That was in the Locker. He didn't really die. Doesn't count._

"I still did it. Won't make no diff'rence. He'd never trust me, if he ever has."

So? Not like you trust him either…

"There's no point t' any of this. We're jes' frien- acquaint'nces. He's the Cap'n, an' I'm jes' stayin' aboard f'r as long as it suits meh."

_Well, if he's worthless to you, turn him in. Lure him back to Beckett or some mildly more agreeable authority and claim the reward. Go down in history as the girl who captured the infamous Jack Sparrow._

"It's an option, I s'pose," she mumbled.

The familiar sound of his haphazard bootsteps made her turn. She watched him swing around the stair rails and ascend to the quarterdeck, the flicker of oil lanterns soon kindling his silhouette at the helm. Wishing she could kick herself at her inner confusion, Jade trudged up the stairs to stand alongside the Captain.

There was no land in sight and he did not appear to turn the wheel in any distinct direction, as though he were just standing there for the sheer pleasure of being in control of the ship. He stared ahead aimlessly, soaking in the freedom for which he so obviously lived.

"Come to renegotiate with the slimy _rāna-rēgulus_?"

She clenched her jaw at his quiet yet scurrilous tone. With a speed that startled him, her hand shot below his belt and grasped the glossy container of his compass. She lifted it between them and flipped the lid, revealing the lethargically rotating needle.

Jade looked up at him, forcing a straight expression at the dark mischief playing on his face. The needle kept on spinning. She continued to stare at him. He broke into a grin. The needle started to slow. Jack melted his smile to match the young woman's stare. Slower and slower…

Jack's eyes dropped. Before he could satisfy his curiosity, Jade snapped the compass shut. She turned to look across the helm again, standing side by side with the captain of the _Black Pearl_.

"Apparently we skipped a few days on our adventures," he said, his gaze returning to the distant bowsprit. "One more turn of the hourglass will make it twenty-fifth of the twelfth month, in all its worldly celebratory capacity."

"Jack."

The Captain's eyes slid lazily to rest upon her shadowed form, the chill night breeze ruffling her hair in an unsubtly epic manner.

"Jes' shut it." Jade leaned against his shoulder, eyelids closed to protect herself from the inevitable conceited grin that the pirate captain wore. But this time he postponed the smirk and lost himself in the drift of the ship, and for once it seemed she could trust him.

At least for a little while.

* * *

(Ye Ende)


End file.
